The Real Cause Of Obesity

Nov 15, 2013 by

For years now we have been exposed to a plethora of books, articles, “medicines,” exercise systems and machines, surgeries, spas, superficial professional psychological gossip, supplements, potions, substitutes, stratagem, subterfuge and on and on and on regarding the “plague” of OBESITY. In case you haven’t noticed the flood of fat in our lives has registered a steady increase keeping pace with or exceeding the flood of remedies that struggle do dam up this deluge.

Recently a newspaper here in Costa Rica dedicated a week long focus involving several pages each day, outlining, enumerating, reporting on what for them, is every available study, ritual, political involvement, exaggerated cases of cures for, expert advice, on and on and on in response to the apparent overwhelming interest in the theme.

For me, their response to this suffocating, life-threatening dis-ease is laudable but off the mark because they didn’t come close to identifying the cause of OBESITY.

As of today I propose to direct myself to talking to you about the CAUSE of obesity. I hope we can generate some interaction, discussion, questions, or comments on my approach.

I’m facebooking my postulates regarding the cause of OBESITY in both Spanish and English. The responses to the Spanish edition, there for all to enjoy of course, were very agreeable. Courteous, intelligent, astute and if I may; in the traditional Costa Rican genre (buena gente). That’s so good because we’re going to need that respectful, contributive, warm atmosphere to tolerate the position I hold after so many years of investigating the problem.

To begin with let’s ask ourselves, meditatingly; what is the nature of our vitality, our life’s energy? The answer for me is: We are sexual energy. I base that observation and feeling-awareness on recognizing that we all come from passion, from orgasm, from the combination of sperm with egg, from a usually nine month preparation inside our mother’s body and years of preparation outside her body. (For more on this see my book We’re Having Sex Right Now!)

What does this have to do with obesity? Everything!

Sexual energy (that’s you and me) is a delicate, sensitive, exquisite state from the word go. Therefore we are not only equipped to respond to every and all stimulation that reach our sexual energy from the very beginning of life, but each of us come from particular influences of our evolution which have to do with how we respond to those stimulations. More tomorrow: —So far this adventure seems to have promise. It’ll probably get even better when the resistances start coming in.

Just a slight deviation from our passionate theme: “The cause of OBESITY.”

The presidential campaign in the U.S.A., the most expensive of all time (paid for by us), probably had more people biting their nails, climbing the walls and gritting teeth then the World Series and the Super Bowl put together. In effect however, they, and a myriad of other giant distractions, pull us out of our socks so that it’s impossible to retain even a slight awareness of ourselves. In the end of course, whoever wins or loses…wins or loses, but the rest of us simply lose because we invest heart and soul in their cause—erroneously thinking it’s our cause. And that’s because the overwhelming majority of us don’t have a real cause. We’ve been educated out ofour individuality and are easy prey for promises of “jobs”—i.e.—slavery, equal rights, while as they say “some are more equal than others”—justice and honesty (please, don’t make me laugh).

Curiously, the expensive win-lose “complex, competition industry” in the like of politics and sports, is carried out in the same way—i.e. big crowds, uniforms, pompous-hysterical know-it-all commentators—giant media coverage etc. Are you a loser or are you a loser?

END OF DEVIATION…for the moment.


In my previous post, the deviation I cited can help us see how our constantly being stimulated and our receptivity to stimulation has to be carefully reckoned with or our individuality—our lives—will pass us by without consciousness that we exist.

What follows here, is important: Our sensitivity—our capacity to respond to stimulation at birth is more or less double than it will be at the end of life. BUT!!! That sensitivity diminishes one half of all the diminishing that will inevitably take place, by the time we have reached three years of age. That means we are at our highest sensitivity and therefore most receptive to stimulation when we are one to three year old babies; when seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and touching (tactile stimulation) are at a once in a lifetime high level. We psychologists and most mothers refer to these earliest days of our lives as the ORAL STATE. “Everything goes into the mouth” they say; I might add, the head, neck, and throat area. It is then (from age one to three) that we are formed. (More elaborate information on this in my book We’re Having Sex Right Now!


ANOTHER DEVIATION FROM THE OBESITY THEME: “The State of the Nation” report here in Costa Rica was divulged yesterday. For me they talked about everything but the State of the Nation. For me the state of the nation is depression, anger, fear, irritation, boredom, big trouble, desperation, undue complication etc. all on the verge of exploding. Meanwhile, the dead pan audience present at this event (all of us really) just sat there, feebly making believe they were listening and uselessly giving “thought” to that rather expensive gloomy exposition. Among the effects of this off-course exposition is of course to stimulate more OBESITY.


Gabriel’s affirmation of the “oral-sexual obesity connection” (on my Spanish speaking Facebook) is right on the money.

My intention in these facebook encounters is to little by little divulge what I have determined to be the root cause of obesity, and in so doing relieve us of the off-the-top-of the head, unscrupulous, ignorant, “birds of prey” who feed on the misery of obese people. Notice that “obese people” are fast becoming all of us.

So far the responses to my day to day little by little comments are pretty good, considering the limits and strengths of facebook, so stay tuned:


Yesterday we dealt with the ORAL STAGE of life (1-3) years and its once in a lifetime extreme sensitivity. Previously we explained our sexual nature as our total energy. We are sexual spirits so we’re looking at baby sexual beings (that’s us) coupled with our extreme sensitivity in our oral stage.

What is the basic sexual activity then of newborns and infants?:

As you might imagine it’s too much to describe here in detail but basically it’s sucking—swallowing—digesting—cuddling—snoozing—crying—seeing—hearing—smelling—excreting—moving—thinking—receiving and reacting to stimulations. You and I did all that in the cradle and we’re still doing some version of it right now! That’s a big mouthful for today. More tomorrow…


There’s a bit of a problem with this little “Real Cause of Obesity” probe. Pretty much all of us have been cajoled, threatened, seduced, tricked, forced etc. to not be aware of our existence. Like I said previously, we’ve been educated out of self-awareness and self-appreciation. As such, in a sense I’m speaking an emotional foreign language with this adventure into the Real Cause of Obeisty:

Well, so what? People learn new languages every day. Learning a new language means that the sense, the essence, the feel of what is being said and experienced is unfamiliar—different—and therefore uncomfortable at the outset; sort of like a guy’s first encounter with a new chick. If all goes well, little by little the initial discomfort drifts away and finally, when they’re in bed together, who cares about the uneasiness at the beginning.

In that spirit, on we go…


So, as babies, we have a pretty wide range of sexual activity, ninety-nine percent of which goes on exclusively inside our individual experience, that is to say the existence of others (mother, father etc.) is not even slightly considered by the baby a la: “That succulent luscious nipple-breast-sweet milk etc.—those delicious smells—feels—tastes etc… they’re all ‘ME’ just as they were in the first nine month phase of gestation in ‘MY’ womb life. Whatever is happening now in ‘MY’ second gestation period (which may last for some twenty years or so), is still ‘ME-ME-and ME.’ In ‘MY’ mind, ‘I’ am all there is. In ‘MY’ mind, the shock and disappointment of becoming aware that others exist, hasn’t come into play.”

Tomorrow: What is happening inside our extraordinary sensitivity make-up while we’re in this ‘ME-ME-ME’ stage? (megalomania)


Wow, Carmita (on my Spanish speaking Facebook) has given us quite a ball of twine to unravel.

I agree with her that there’s glaring evidence that we haven’t come out of the oral stage; but, as we shall see as we go along, being stuck in orality is what drives us crazy and being crazy doesn’t lead to happiness as Carmita suggests in her first comment.

She realized that when things “go wrong” in the oral stage there’s trouble afoot. However, as we shall see in good time, what may appear to be a struggle to compensate for the “wrongs,” in reality works to make them worse. Eating constantly is obviously self-defeating.

But notice…obese people go after their self-defeating activity (overeating and other displeasure) with an almost insane hysteria. They can’t help themselves.


O.K., so while we’re in the oral stage with this enormous sensitivity (picture yourself as a newborn baby to get the feel of it) you’re still thinking as you did in the womb that you are Existence itself—you are all there is. Reality however has other ideas. So even in the best of circumstances we all have to meet with reality in one form or another and that can be quite a shock. Babies show their shock in many ways. They cry, spit, stick their tongues out, get sick, and some even die.

To put it mildly fears of all kinds accompany the earliest days of our lives. Most of us seem to think that babies are happy little cuddly sort of teddy bear creatures. Good psychologists know different. We sympathize with the underestimated difficulties of our baby days that we all have to face and resolve. If babies don’t or can’t get into reality little by little, they simply stay as removed from reality as newborns are. That means trouble.

I won’t blame you if you feel a bit confused by my last comment. “What?” you say, “We like what we don’t like?” O.K. let’s look:

We’re sexual beings n’cest pas? What’s more, as babies we’re extraordinarily sensitive sexual beings fresh from a virtually frustration free envirmonment—mother’s womb. In the womb all “services” are provided free of charge to baby only, with nobody else around to interfere, i.e. practically a conflict free, contamination free envirmonment. Food 24 hours a day, regular cleanliness, expandable shelter, protective, no side effects—all natural—100% organic medicinal care, caressing massage movements, etc. are more or less the basic life-support advantages of our ‘in mother’ gestation period. But then, holy hell breaks loose! We get evicted and introduced to unending frustrations that on the surface would make it seem that survival would be impossible. Yet we do survive. How? Well—we have all kinds of built in defenses that develop during our nine month first gestation period. For our purposes, I’m interested in one of those built-ins that I call the SSM; the “Sexual Survival Mechanism.” Tomorrow I’ll detail how the SSM works. It’s important because without the SSM defense mechanism we would not be able to survive. Without the SSM there would be no human life. Without the SSM, we would die.


The delay in continuing with our “Real Cause of Obesity” has been due to not having Internet for these past few days, allegedly because of a change in technology of our connection.

Now, to continue with our theme: Several are accusing me of being Freudian. Thanks. Nowadays just say the word ‘sex’ and you’re Freudian. Somehow though, I feel that those who criticize, trying to put Freudians in a negative light, haven’t read, and much less understood, one word that Freud himself said.

There are even those critics who have supposedly read and understood Freud’s work, like Fromm and Jung, that don’t convince me, that they adequately grasped his meaning. They seem to be jealous sons of their father, spending inordinate time and effort to discredit him.


Just a word to emphasize that the “Real Cause of Obesity” described in this series is installed, constructed and developed over time in the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND. When the elements in it are discovered, that is, brought to the conscious mind, the symptom, obesity, will be controllable and over time will disappear. Furthermore, although what we eat and the exercise we do or not do is instrumental in weight reduction, it should be remembered that those issues have to do with alleviating individuals of the symptom, obesity. If the SUBCONSCIOUS cause of obesity is not eradicated, the symptom will persist in the form of weight gain or a substitute form of self-humiliation.

Now I’ll continue with the explanation of THE REAL CAUSE OF OBESITY: The amount of stimulation babies receive after emerging from their mothers increases significantly to say the least. Good stimulation, like sucking on the breast and being cuddled with the feel of mother’s warm body is received and registered sexually. Bad stimulation like loud noises, or being held by a sick—nervous—insecure mot her, is received and registered sexually as well.

Babies can therefore assimilate pretty much all of the stimulation they receive because reasonable, tolerable sexual stimulation is agreeable and pleasant. Baby of course “decides” what is reasonable and tolerable.

When reasonable-tolerable sexual stimulation is present, in most cases all goes well and babies develop from one stage to the next without subjecting their nervous systems to exaggerated intense reactions. If babies survive being exposed to intolerable intense stimulation—such stimulation is absorbed sexually as well. When intolerable stimulation has to be dealt with, comfortable, self-assured development is inhibited. Baby’s little delicate nervous system is obligated to focus on extreme agitation which is converted into a sexual preference.

Hence, even though stimulation may be objectionable, disgusting, and even physically damaging; babies survive thanks to their SSM. Unfortunately however, if they choose or are obligated to form sexual preferences for negative—even terrible stimulation we can see that without intervention in their need TO LIKE WHAT THEY DON’T LIKE, a lifelong history of masochistic suffering will be their destiny.

More to come. We’re almost ready to declare exactly what is THE REAL CAUSE OF OBESITY.

Just a note to kind of “congratulate” those who have been participating in this “Real Cause of Obesity” adventure. The Real Cause is seated in the subconscious mind, which is the determinant force in all of our lives. The Subconscious of course contains elements that formed our development throughout all time. Additionally it is a storehouse of passions influenced by our second gestation period (life after birth). The make up of the subconscious decides what is happening and what will happen.

In case you haven’t noticed, what’s really going on is not of much interest in our lives. The “front page,” if you will, features the tragic nonsense—the stupid symptoms—of distorted subconscious carryings-on. So “congratulations” to you who are daring to defy popular idiotic trends by focusing on yourself to understand what’s really occurring.

To zero in more on what’s really going on, make use of the question: “What am I EXPERIENCING right now?” If you get into the habit of using that question, it will pay off in big life giving, life-supporting dividends.

I think by now we’re ready so here it is. Ladies and Gentelmen, presenting “The Real Cause of Obesity!”:

We’ve observed that the Real Cause of Obesity (RCO) is headquartered in the oral stage of life (our first three years), principally in the first year. Therefore when we have that once in a lifetime high sensitivity and are in mother’s (or substitute mother’s) arms, and we “judge” that our needs are adequately attended, the likelihood of developing masochistic passions that lead to obesity are lessened. Conversely, when as newborns and babies we think and feel we are frustrated, then we cultivate sexual affinity for repeated episodes of the frustrations we are accustomed to suffer. In other words in our baby-days we can get to like what causes us distress, pain, anguish, and tension. As previously mentioned, obese people hysterically pursue their poison (disguised as delicious treats). When things calm down, they realize that they don’t really like to overeat at all. Without conditions for being calm, they are compelled to repeat what they continue to experience as thee most exciting moments in their distorted lives: (suffering in baby-days). The food intake (which always takes the form of eating too much) fulfills the need to suffer as they did, or imagined they did in those early days (weeks, months, etc.); …—early days, in which the excitement was such, that further emotional development was stifled.

The RCO is installed and repressed in the oral days and continues to effect us SUBCONSCIOUSLY. As such, people that get sexually stuck in their baby-day traumas deny—deny—and deny that such a condition exists.

To be continued…

Answers to Facebook inquiries:

For J. D. Herrera: Sometimes the answer to a question can be found in the question: The treatment or therapy is in this “Real Cause of Obesity” facebook interchange. Yes, face to face therapeutic treatment with a competent practitioner is probably more effective, but, no matter how you cut the cake—confronting what’s really causing the disease must be accomplished. Therefore this facebook adventure is therapeutic, as is reading my books. Pills, surgical operations, diets, exercises; don’t come close to the elusive cause of this and other devastating manifestations in our lives.

For Zaida Chevez: Feeling guilty for having an uncontrollable problem is humiliating but not necessarily counterproductive. It could be motivating in the interest of conquering—defeating the problem. Once one gets on the track of self-discovery there is less need for that kind of motivation. Yet since the process of self-understanidng has its ups and downs (betterments and regressions) re-motivation may be necessary. Important! It’s good to not feel guilty about feeling guilty.

For Francisco Sanabria: Low or even high-priced “products” for controlling obesity don’t get at the problem. Actually they work to keep it our of reach.

For Alonso Loreny: I hope you’ll soon have time, peace of mind, and internet to communicate your point of view.

For Gabriel Wagner: The cosmos is sexual energy.

For Carmita: My suggestions to help people are carefully written in my books: We’re Having Sex Right Now!—The Lollypop Factor—and soon to be released audio book (and in print as well) A Better Way.

Notice that overeaters want their poison right now!, as do demanding babies. Regular eaters can tolerate delays in the presentation of food. The self-destructive, masochistic characteristic of eating for the obese is the hysterical—desperate stuffing themselves till they feel total disgust. (That’s the masochistic goal.) They betray their best intentions of self-control over and over again like they felt betrayed as infants. On the surface it looks like they want to take in what they most enjoy. But a reflective pause can bring to light that they are forever reenacting scenes of being humiliated—tortured—rejected—abandoned—hated—threatened—take your pick. Underneath they are living an exaggerated, high-toned, sexually tinged nervous condition, which only gets complicated by self-gorging.


My tactic is to respectfully, calmly study that exaggerated nervousness held over from infancy. Once that infantile ‘running your motor in neutral with the accelerator down to the floor,’ is identified emotionally, the obsessive overeating converts itself into enjoying a nice meal once in a while.

Answer for Karol:

She wrote: “Very interesting. I don’t know if it applies to every case (because I believe I didn’t have the correct attention when I was a baby and I’m not fat) but what you say makes a lot of sense.”

My answer:

There are symptoms and there are symptoms as a result of inadequate or even horrible treatment of babies. In this case we’re directing ourselves to “The Real Cause of Obesity.” Obesity is a symptom of an “unresolved,” buried, not-confronted real or imagined traumatic event; series of events; or even a negative, unsavory atmosphere that baby experiences during their first three years or so of life.

The symptom that appears could even be the opposite of obesity (anorexia). Of course we know about the likes of nervousness, the inability to concentrate, bad marriages, and anti-social behavior. All those, like obesity, are symptoms of some kind of mistreatment experienced in the oral stage.

The same basic understanding applies to ALL neurotic symptoms. How each individual spells theirs out is, “up to them.”

It’s valuable to recognize that all neurotic symptoms (we should say all deviance from good health and well being) are expressions of the individual. They’re actually creations like songs, works of art, criminal acts, and the building of cities. Here, because there’s so much misinformation and false cures for obesity, we’re presenting a counter-attack. But make no mistake. You don’t have to be fat to benefit from self-understanding.

In reaching out as I am doing in this discussion among “friends,” I’m well aware that my slant on this delicate, and hence potentially touchy issue; will generate conflict in some people, resistance, and even anger in others. Nevertheless, the popular avoidance of self-knowledge in general threatens to do away with us in every respect. So because I enjoy what I do and am amazed by my discoveries in this field, I plan to continue distributing my grains of sand in the interest of generating a discussion on this modern plague.

Thanks Karol.

Why now? Seemingly all of a sudden (the past ten years) obesity has become a visible, world-wide, major, life-threatening problem. Here I’ve explained that obesity is a symptom of a problem rooted in the subconscious mind.

Consciously, we quickly jump to site our sedentary life, fast-fattening food readily available, no time to exercise, the custom of eating unhealthy foods, etc.; as the causes of obesity now. Then consciously again, we jump to a gamma of “modern” remedies—pills—operations—better eating “habits”—scientific nutritional discoveries, systems, plans, groups, resolutions, and on and on; and the problem gets worse and worse:

The subconscious motives related to obesity are barely considered. With respect and sympathy; there may be “good” reasons for that, even though those reasons may lead to a gruesome unhappiness and even to premature death.

In giving some thought to the subconscious roots of obesity, we run smack into the oral stage of our lives. Has there been some change in our modern ‘now’ that has affected us in our oral time of life (ages 1-3)?

Without question there has been such changes, particularly in the lives and attitudes of women—our mothers—our main source of stimulation in the oral stage and probably subconsciously throughout life. So, our concern might be to investigate how these changes in the lives of our women have become manifest in the great quantities of fat that we haul around.

What’s new and different in the lives of women?

1)    More and more they’re fighting for equal rights.

2)    They’ve found their way into what had been referred to as the professional, masculine world.

3)    They’ve abandoned the so-called feminine roles such as homemaking and child care in favor of directing their attention toward “outside” obligations and interests.

4)    They themselves have been “raised” by mothers who form part of this modern so-called liberation of women influence that increasingly affects us all.

5)    In large measure they have become concerned with their superficial image. In the process they have “objectified” themselves with make-up, plastic surgeries, incessant and extravagant changes in fashion styling, “right ways to do things” as directed by experts etc. etc.

6)    They have abandoned their first-hand talents in cooking, sewing, hygiene, psychology, philosophy, medicine etc. in favor of what machines do that depersonalize and standardize these psycho-physical expressions.

There’s much more on this, but for today we’ll hopefully begin to ponder about how these changes in the lives of women may have a direct and fundamental relationship to the obesity phenomenon.

Here’s a response of mine to a friend, Dr. Luis Soto, who wrote to me citing as a principal cause of obesity in babies less than a year old, that industries sell mild formulas with high contents of carbohydrates and sugar, causing addiction in these newborns.  Please feel free to comment through our contact form on this website or on my Facebook page: William E. P. Fairmont.: Here’s my answer to Luis:


I’m glad you’re in contact with me through Facebook because your sincere desire to inform and contribute to understanding and getting rid of the obesity problem is unquestionable and of merit. Additionally however, it gives me the opportunity to respond and I do so with all due respect:

Luis, it’s clear (to me anyway) that practically all of us are driven away from our foundations in thinking and feeling. Most of us are forced to repress—deny—and become fixated on the threatening circumstances we encounter in our very sensitive—vulnerable formative years (1-3).

The complete explanation can be found in my books, We’re Having Sex Right Now!The Lollypop Factor—and in the shocking revelation and cure for human problems described in my new audio and written opus—A Much Better Way.)

So, given that we are not blessed with time or adequate parents to resolve the inevitable shocks of infancy, we arrive at school age with all kinds, and intensities of addictions. Having lost contact with our intuition and capacity to feel; and having suffered damage to the spontaneous, appropriate functioning of our central nervous system; we are obligated to put ourselves in the hands of older, but similarly deformed (psychologically—subconsciously) “human” beings that have had practice in exercising their intellectuality (thinking without feeling) for considerable time. Some call them parents and teachers. Others call them innocent, hysterical fools.

So it’s clear to me that this circumstance is fundamental in analyzing the cause of our problems. Everything you offer is certain but superficial, the proof of which is, if you take the corrupt—contaminated lactate formulas away from the kids, you are not taking the problem away. Besides, mothers with half a brain (psychologically fit) don’t feed that garbage to their babies.

As for political shenanigans; those characters that find themselves mixed-up and mixing us up were clearly not reared on good mother’s milk. That cruelty they had to confront in infancy is reflected in their deeds.

If you have the courage to invest yourself in self-understanding, I’m sure your patients will automatically benefit. We have to help mothers calm themselves and love themselves. Witness the Costa Rica of the late 70’s and early 80’s. Mothers were respected and happy—not driven into the street to compete with the folly and destructiveness of men. Result—practically zero obesity and breast feeding was the order of the day.


Dr. William E. Paer Fairmont Clinical Psychologist

Related Posts


Share This

Leave a Reply